Seconds before dead ...

Have you ever heard of you'll see things and your love ones when you are seconds before dead? Well we dunno because we won't ask and the dead ones won't answer. But today, i'm near to death and it's not a good experience.....

3:44 - 11/1/08- Strathclyde Royal College Swimming Pool

This is a momment i'll remember for life. Felt like swimming long time ago when my winter break starts, but everyday i'll have an excuse to procrastinate. And today, at last i've take action and this is my 1st time at the pool own by my University. Been swimming since young, though stop for a long while, think i can at least go for a few laps before i'm down.. But things seems not like expected. after a few laps i felt abit shortness of breath and tired , and i thought it's normal since i've long time never swim. Continue swimming after a wee rest and in between the laps , i felt like i gone really out of breath, but i insist of finishing the lap. I started to felt abit dizzy after the lap and the shortness of breath getting more and more severe. I quickly get out from the pool and sit on the stairway. My vission started to blurred and black spot fill up my sight ( just like when you squad for quite some time and suddenly get up not giving enough time for the blood to flow) thought everyting will be back to normal after some rest, but it doesn't . I felt that my heart beat is beating at all it's strength and as fast as it could. Every breath that i take doesn't seems to reach my lung ( so this is how SOB is like, have a feel of how a patient feels, i was laughing at myself). But things get more and more serious, my vission get more and more restricted black dots everywhere and even though i'm trying to take deep and rythm breath to calm dowm myself but i cant, cause I CANT FEEL OXYGEN !!! and i'm super dizzy and nauseas. Heart beat is at it max, i'm feeling anxious, and restless, this is shock , i'm definitely suffering hypoxia ( insufficient oxygen in body), so what if i know, i cant stop it.. My friend Mr Ding who came with me sees that's there is somthing wrong with me and approached me. As an experience runner, he tell me to take deep breath, which i did but things never get better, his voice get weaker and i started to be sensitive to the sounds from my enviroment, the splasing of water from the pool, the background music ( i still can recall that it's a girl singer, thought i immagine it though). EUPHORIA.... so what if it is, i can't do a damm thing about it. "Am i going to die in this place, not at my happiest momment?" Can't really think properly, i just wanna vomit ..... continue taking deep breath consistently, doesn't get me anywhere initially, but as it goes, i started to felt the air, heart beat getting slower, and i have a feeling that i'm in control again. Vision still fill with black spot, dizzy, nauseas, but ya, i think my soul is back. Told my friend that get worried looking at me that i'm alright. Continue to sit there untill my vision get clear again.(not very clear actually, since i'm short sighted). Measured my pulse.... 80, seems normal. Comfirm with my friend again that i'm ok, and continue sitting for quite a while resting and figuring what's wrong with me. I've just been staying abit late yesterday and sitting around at home this few days, and a few laps end up hypoxia?... WTH.. Am going to come again to sort out the problem definitely...

Oh well, this make me felt like leaving a message incase of any accident unpredictably happens, that never give me a chance to leave my last words:

1) I love my mom and dad not forgetting my sis, sorry, doesn't have the chance to repay you all that would be what i regret the most.

2) Thanks to all my friend who had gone through so much with me, you guys are the best!

3)Damm myself for dying so early without achieving anything before i die and so much yet to discover and tried, not even 1 time engage with a relationship, what a disgrace...

4) Shit, havent gone to japan yet...

5)Pharmacist pharmacist sekalian please understand your patient more, not just disease based, it's different when you are suffering it.

6)Goodbye and be happy every momment, coz you wont want to drop dead crying but smilling...

...... Still figuring what's wrong with me, might be my room lack of oxygen that cause me this few days also "ngong ngong" since i spend most of my time this few days inside the room, never open my window for ages also... haha.. and this is what i found out after i open it, nice view, fresh air, heart is still beating....

Good to be alive!